The Worst Thing I Ever Heard

December 8, 2009

Okay, this isn’t a poem, but it is something that is making me really upset, so I thought I should blog it out.

Today was crazy hair day, and I decided to spray my hair green. When I got to school, I realized everyone else had the same idea. Almost everyone who had sprayed their hair had green as their color choice. Too happy that we were doing something fun in school for a change, I didn’t let it bother me.

Well, when I was standing alone in the 6th grade lobby, (like I do everyday), this girl named Macy came up to me. Macy and I were good friends a couple months ago, but suddenly she started ignoring me. She even told this girl named Tara that if Tara talked to me, Macy wouldn’t be her friend. Of course Tara still talked to me, but it left me feeling hurt that Macy had something against me. What did I ever do to her?

Anyway, Macy came up to me and just stared at my hair. Her hair was sprayed blue, with some green in it.  Macy then made the sign of something exploding with her hands, and walked away. I looked at her questionably, trying to figure out what she meant. The bell rang then, and we then went to our lockers.

I didn’t think anything of what Macy did. I sailed through my classes, and then lunch came around.

At lunch, I sat at my usual seat, with my two best friends, Fai and Sarah. When I started eating my lunch, Sarah said “You remember Macy, right? Well, she came up to me in PE and asked if you and I were still friends. Of course I said yes, and her response was….” Sarah stopped short. I told her to tell me, so, she did. “She told me that you were such a dork.”

Those words hit me hard. I always catorgorized myself as a dork, but I never had someone tell me that. I couldn’t believe someone would actually say that about me. I almost burst into tears right then and there, because the words were true. I WAS a dork, and to hear it mentioned hurt me.

I went through my next to classes barely noticing what was happening. Those words kept repeating over and over in my head. “Shes such a dork”, I could almost hear her saying that.

When I got home, I went to my bathroom and cried. It felt like my world was turned upside-down. Why? Because I always was trying to be someone I wasn’t. I was always trying to fit in with the popular crowd, and I tried to act the way the popular people acted. This went on for 3 months. 3 months thrown away. Macy had seen through me and figured out that I was, in fact, a dork.

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My Online Journal- Day 1

November 17, 2009

Hi guys! Sorry I’m never online, (school and gymnastics), but I’m making a online journal. Well, I guess I’ll start writing now.

Day 1: Horrible. I have no friends, and no one notices me. I only have 3 friends. I’m pretty sure that I’m getting the title “emo” again, because my friend said the minute I walked into school “thats emo”. Guess who turned to stare? Everyone. Gymnastics was fun, but I’m mad at my friend. She keeps calling me a hill-billy. Oh, did I mention I was being lied to for 2 months? I finally figured it out a couple days ago. Now I’m really mad at both of the people who lied to me.

I’ll write tommorow.

-Ammi

For My Mom

September 20, 2009

From the moment I was born,

You have made me the happiest ever.

You have been my mentor, even when things get tough,

and I have no where to turn.

You give me the best advice,

and your TGIF dance could not be more…… creative.

Through everything, Mom,

You have been there,

and will always be.

I love you.

Chorus

September 20, 2009

Being in 5th grade, you have limited choices on what you can do. Joining chorus was one of them. You can either do band and chorus, or chorus and orchestra. Or any of them alone. I chose chorus and orchestra.

Well, chorus means singing, and I’m not able to hit high notes. Of course, with all the luck I draw, thats usually all the notes we hit. Luck, luck, luck. I seriously think that I have a little devil on my shoulder waiting to ruin me.

Chorus would meet every Thursday right after lunch. We would then practice our songs for the upcoming concert. Usually we would have five songs a day. After those five songs we were then dismissed for recess.

Well, one day, I was in chorus, and practicing a song with my group. The ending consisted in very high notes, which of course, I couldn’t hit. And my chorus teacher knew someone in that room (she didn’t know it was me), couldn’t hit them, either. She was growing more and more frusterated, and kept making us sing the same high notes over and over. The kids in my chorus group were starting to look around, to see who was not singing the notes right. My face grew hot, because, of course, it was me. And, of course, no one knew that.

By the nineth time around, I decided to mouth the words. When I did, my chorus teacher smiled with delight and said “Perfect! Lets move on…”.

From that moment on, I realized that little devil on my shoulder had a friend, and they were determined to make this one loooooooooooong chorus year.

For the rest of that year, I mouthed those last few notes to that song. Even in the concert, I did. And the chorus teacher continued to be very happy with those few last notes.

9/11

September 13, 2009

I was playing with my tinker toys,

happy as could be,

not knowing the pain

my mother was facing.

I toddled into the living room.

“Mommy, why are you crying?”

Mom’s face was red, drenched with tears.

“It’s nothing, honey–why don’t you watch a movie”

She led me into the family room,

and I watched The Jungle Book.

I sat blissfully on the couch,

enjoying the movie.

I had no way of knowing

the danger.

 

Now I am 11,

and old enough to understand

what happened

on 9/11/2001,

and I  pray

for my cousin,

who was simply at the right place

at the wrong time.

 

Rest in peace, Tommy

Paradise

July 23, 2009

Waking up to the pure sunlight,

I creep down the bunkbed ladder,

Careful not to wake my sister from her sound sleep.

I quietly open the door,

And tiptoe out,

Closing it quickly behind me.

Not making a sound.

Then, I make a mad dash for the balcony.

Mom and Dad are out there,

Having morning coffee.

I smile,

And have a seat.

“Would you like to go to the beach today, Gabby?” Dad says.

I nod.

Soon, Sophie is awake, and is sitting with us on the balcony.

“Sophie, would you like to go to the beach today?” Dad says.

Sophie nods enthusiastically.

And off we go.

Our morning kicks off with a bang.

Mom makes lunch,

Sophie and I scarf down breakfast,

And Dad is packing everything we need to get to the beach.

When Sophie and I finish,

We rush to our room,

Throw on our bathing suits,

Grab the lunch bag Mom packed,

And run to the elevator.

Sophie enters the code,

And I press the first floor button.

Then we wait,

With no patience whatsoever.

When the elevator doors finally open,

We dash to the parking lot,

Where Dad is waiting.

Sophie and I each grab our share of the beach load,

And wait.

When mom isn’t ready in five minutes,

We decide to play a game of catch.

After all, we did bring our baseball and gloves.

We throw the ball in a triangle,

And,

When Mom finally comes down,

We rush back to the beach things,

Grab our loads,

And sprint to the beach.

Finally there.

We lay our blanket on the beach,

Mom and Dad bring the chairs up to the wet part of the sand,

Sophie grabs her shovel and pail and runs off with Mom and Dad,

And I stay behind.

I lay on the blanket,

The warm sun hitting my back.

I hear the waves crashing,

People talking,

Seagulls chirping.

Ahh, yes,

No patience needed now.

I am here.

True paradise.

Potential

July 16, 2009

Such amazing children,

With big hearts,

And big dreams.

One wants to make movies,

The other to be a professional wrestler.

The place the children call home is horrible.

It makes me want to cry everytime I think about it.

If only the boys could branch out, and find another place in the world.

They let out their anger in violence towards each other

and everytime they fight,

I can see their saddness,

Of not being able to fullfill their dreams,

And knowing they never will.

But, I try to look at their lives differently,

I see that they both can live up to what they dream to be.

They can be the greatest movie maker, professional wrestler, or what-not,

As long as they believe they can,

And realize that their enviroment is just a bump in a road,

A very,

Very,

Big one.

It is very hard to believe,

That these children,

Are my cousins.

Nonnie

July 13, 2009

You left me when I was at a young age

You left me when I was at my starting stage

But when I look back at the memories I have of you

I always shed a tear, or two

 You taught me so much

I didn’t even know it

You taught me so much

I didn’t even show it

You always had the love I needed

And, you always, always succeeded

For you are the one that loved me through thick and thin

For you are the one who loved me through all sin

Now that I think back to you, I get tears of anger in my eyes

Not because of troubles, not because of lies

 It is only because I was too young to actually say

 That I wanted to learn more from you

Each and every day

I love you, Nonnie

I Don’t Wanna Say Goodbye…

June 10, 2009

I worked too hard,

To see you walk away from me,

And probably never return.

I worked too hard,

To know that the picture I have of you,

Might be the only memory I have of you.

I worked too hard,

To let myself love you,

And then you leave.

Haiku #3

June 4, 2009

A ball of fire

Lighting up my way each day

Thank you so much, God